Progress…I Think

Day 5 of turning my stomach into a pin cushion and I am still not used to this crap.  There were a couple days where I took it like a boss, but the hesitation keeps sneaking back it.  That shot that I do in the morning stings like a mofo and I cuss it out every time after my ritual staring competition.  On the morning of day five I had my first check in at the clinic where I had the exciting experience of having someone else poke me for a change as they did bloodwork to see how things were rolling.  It was a wam, bam thank you ma’am type visit and we were out in no time.  Can’t complain about that!

The fam went to the aquarium after to hang out with the fishies and wait for the call to see how things my hormones are enjoying the boosters.  After a few hours, I was exhausted as I swear my crazy little girl said hi to every single fish in that place!  Right before we threw in the towel, I got the call.  My wife was watching me like a hawk trying to read my expression.  I on the other hand was trying to read the monotone nurse on the line.  “So we got your bloodwork back and your hormones are…*dramatic pause*…doing well.”  Between the tone and the pause before hearing that all was well, I’m pretty certain I didn’t breath and I swear my wife was ready to die.  But it was all good and we had to go back the next morning for more bloodwork and the first ultrasound.  I was super glad that I knew now that the ultrasound was quite literally intrusive, so that I could mentally prepare for that fun!  Last bit of good news was that I had to start the third shot in my regiment.  I was so pumped!  Not only that, but this one was in my leg and had to be done on a 45 degree angle.  Why not?  I was hitting skill level ninja at this point, might as well throw some new instructions and I’ll bust out my protractor to make it happen!  All jokes aside, this was my favorite shot because it came ready to roll.  No mixing, or anything like that, I just had to bust it out and throw it in my leg.  Boom!  This came in particularly handy as they said that I had to do it IMMEDIATELY after getting off the phone.  Kind of an interesting experience sticking yourself in the leg in a public washroom, but I’m all for new experiences…and old, considering I was sporting some hardcore face paint at the time, but I digress.

The next morning we went back to the clinic ready for a good time.  My wonderful sister took our little one for a sleep over the night before to help us out so that my wife could come in to the ultrasound.  Apparently I suck at passing on the information.  I have it in my head and know what I have to do, but she likes to know everything to make sure I don’t screw anything up.  To be honest, this is a possibility…so I don’t mind 😉

We checked in and the nurse came out almost immediately to grab me for the ultrasound.  As we were walking back, she asked how my morning was going.  I told her I was super excited and she laughed.  She walked me to the change room and gave me a long wrap thing.  My instructions were to drop everything waist down and “elegantly” wrap the thing around me.  I apparently focused too much on this instruction as I eleganted the crap out of the wrap and popped out of the room in 2.2.  I shocked the nurse who apparently told me to wait until they came and got me.  I reminded her that I was pumped about this as a whole and wanted to make sure that I looked elegant enough.  She said I looked fabulous and she’d come get me in a sec.  Considering it was way too early on a Sunday morning, at least we were all able to laugh it up.

The doc was super nice and I’m not entirely certain if the nurse warned him about what he was getting into that morning.  He asked me how I was and I said that I was pumped, and couldn’t wait.  You could tell that he couldn’t quite tell if I was being sarcastic or not.  A good friend of mine is going through the same jazz, and somehow at the same time.  She has named the lovely ultrasound wand, “the eye inside,” so I figured I would use the same, but in true army style, I’m going to turn it into an acronym, TEI.  The very considerate doc asked if I would like to insert TEI.  I unintentionally scoffed and said, “No!” as I would rather not have it at all…it is at this point that I warned him that I generally provide unorthodox commentary during such events.  He laughed and said he looked forward to it.

The doc checked out both ovaries that were rocking it out.  There were roughly 20 marbles all running in the 12mm range, and they needed to get to roughly 17mm prior to the Dyson procedure.  The doc was very happy with the status of my marble bags and I said, you’re welcome before explaining that I strive to exceed expectations!  We were told to keep the doses going (a fantastic 3 shots a day!) and come back in 2 days to see how things are rolling.  At this point, things weren’t horrible, but you could tell that the damn marbles were there.  My job was to hang out and let the suckers grow.